Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
And then he peed in my hair
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