I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
