I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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