My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
