There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
