I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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