I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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