Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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