we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
