Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
