Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
