I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize