So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
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If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
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I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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