my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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