Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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