im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
