By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
