My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize