Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
