my vag is so smooth its legendary
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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