Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
