so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
That was an excessively violent trivia night
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Randomize
