You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You are the jesus of drinking
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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