K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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