I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
