she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
