Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
