People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
