States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
