haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
