Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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