If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He felt like a one man threesome
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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