She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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