Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
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I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
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My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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