I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Dating After Heartbreak
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT