nut hugger
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
