I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?