So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.