so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
