So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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