At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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