Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Oh god it's open bar.
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