I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize