It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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