My nipple is on Facebook.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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