I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
