I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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