sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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