her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
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I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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