I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
