Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
she woke up with a sticky ear
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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