is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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