Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
