Those balls look pretty dangerous.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
