I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
