there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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